7. Sep, 2021

Diary of an E3 experience...

For an exiled fan like myself deciding where to sit at home is never easy.
 
In the halcyon days of the Premier league you took whatever you could get, I watched the iconic double overhead kick help us beat the champions Leicester City from the north stand, and I think I've been in every area we have pretty much.
 
However most of my home support has meant chasing where I think there actually might be a bit of noise and atmosphere. It wasn't hard at Boothferry Park, my happiest days as a fan were watching the two promotions in three years from the smoky haze of the Kempton stand in the eighties and after years of disrepair it's swansong in the early millennium was still lively.
 
In the KCom, MKM, KC, Circle, Ehab bowl.... it's been slim pickings at times. The latter mentioned stint in the north stand was half decent when it was the stand of the mass exiled around 2017 but that died off. The south stand was last known to be lively at BP in the late nineties when two stands were shut and the West stand... well... you know.
 
I went to around E8 for the QPR game and although the manner of the defeat was a bit of an atmosphere crusher, it really didn't get going before that. So that considered I dabbled with a couple of seats in E3 for the Bournemouth game. As much as some of the noise made by said section might be a bit niche, I was bored of bland. Love it or hate it, I wanted to go where programme reading was off the agenda.
 
This is my diary of the experience.
 
2.55pm
 
A couple of looseners in the Clarendon first and we arrived. Scanning and entering was nice and easy, and we took our seats. Well... we stood by them, you mainly sit in the seats in E2/3 at half time. A nice welcome for the teams and a few songs being rolled out. "We are Hull" "Come on cheer the boys" "Everywhere we go.." etc
 
3.10pm
 
The noise and songs are still steady if a little faded. I've always loved the irony of the lines "We'll go wild, wild, wild..." getting less and less wild. Nevertheless City have a couple of bright points and half chances and the section are behind them.
 
3.17pm
 
The first signs of negativity. Ryan Longman, who hasn't been great gets his feet in a tangle and gives the ball away. "Take off Longman, he's shit!" is the technical advice offered to Mr McCann from a lad just behind us, although young Ryan is much more likely to hear this direction.
 
3.25pm
 
Bournemouth are now on top overall and pinning us back, much to the excitement of their four hundred-ish fans who seem to be trying to overcome their modest numbers by smacking the back of the stadium with open hands to back their "singing". A rotund middle aged man towards the front of the away end waves this on like he's witnessing prime Maracanã like noise. He isn't.
 
3.30pm
 
Both the rather large Bournemouth song conductor and an over-excited young stadium smacker have now drawn the attention of E3. If the "you fat bastard" songs aren't surprising then the christening of the young man who'd took his top off to play drummer on the back of the stands as a "crackhead" seems a tad more original. Neither seem to appreciate their new nicknames and said noise maker doesn't respond to "Crackhead Crackhead, give us a wave".
 
3.35pm
 
A bloke in front of us seems to be critiquing Matt Ingram's display by saying "See.. Ingram!" or "Ingram again!" every time he perceives him as making a mistake. This includes wayward kick outs and at one point a save he puts out for a corner. I keep waiting for an adjective but the shout of "It's Ingram!" seems to be the actual point he's making.
 
3.41pm
 
The Bournemouth fans who look a lot like a sixth form visit or a stag do dressed as the Inbetweeners attempt to sing "Just like a library" but you can't really hear them. Irony.
 
3.45pm
 
Despite hanging on in parts we've been solid. Time to have a half time sit down.
 
4.02pm
 
The inevitable part of the game where we struggle to get much noise going. Many of the regulars are still having a beer and it's very polite for five minutes.
 
4.10pm
 
The linesman that didn't cover himself in much glory first half by ignoring a couple of fouls under his nose and overturning one blatantly obvious throw in to the home team gets another one wrong. Lots of shouts about him needing his hard drive checked and perhaps being a fan of young people.
 
4.17pm
 
CIty's big moment as Doc hit's the bar from a great cross by Lewie Coyle wakes the home end up, they rise audibly and more consistently from now until the final whistle.
 
This is partly in response to Bournemouth's Inbetweeners who have now been damaging the MKM along to (for some inexplicable reason) "The Great Escape" song for perhaps ten minutes. This sort of droning monotony is what they think equates to "atmosphere". I mean, it doesn't, but it does seem to aggravate the home end to up their game a little.
 
4.31pm
 
The loudest point yet as we go to the old faithful of "Keep the Hull flag flying high" followed by a sustained serenading of Tom Huddlestone. Maybe we didn't expect to still be on level terms at this stage and as the minutes tick down, so the noise increases.
 
The shirtless teenager from Dorset appears to have lost his previous gusto prompting a "even crackhead knows you're shit" chant.
 
4.35pm
 
An actual stag do in front of us seems to have been punishing their marriage bound victim for some time now, he's wearing a bra and handcuffs and is now trying to get a round of "She's electric" going in tribute to Greg Docherty.
 
"He's Glaswegian
He's signed for us for a good reason
He's keeping us up this season
Greg Doch-er-ty"
 
Despite my mate Duggan critiquing this new song as "absolutely terrible" E3 seem quite supportive and a few of us join in before roundly applauding the doomed future divorcee.
 
4.51pm
 
City's tail wags a bit as the multi millions of Russian money doesn't seem to have injected a great deal of fight into our opposition and the million pound team increasingly looks like pegging back the 100 million pound team. A couple of sensible looking young men with nice haircuts are folding up their "Cherries" flag and are told in no uncertain terms that their leaving will be a positive thing.
 
4.55pm A final free kick comes to nothing. It's all over. Grant McCann and the players come to acknowledge the support which by and large has been pretty good. Sure there were a few negative parts but the fans were largely behind the players, however the players were so good that even by our standards any more criticism would have seemed hugely disproportionate.
 
Sure it wasn't the Kempton, but maybe there's new life in the MKM east stand to come.
 
We're certainly going to need it this season, now where's my old Oasis albums?